Why Women Who Build Peer Relationships Outpace Those Who Only Focus Up

The moment you step into a boardroom, a startup pitch, or a corporate ladder, you’re handed a choice: climb alone or climb with others. Yet here’s the uncomfortable truth—women who prioritize building relationships with their peers advance faster, earn more respect, and avoid burnout. The data is clear: a 2020 Harvard Business Review study found that women with strong peer networks are 30% more likely to reach leadership roles than those who isolate themselves. But why? And how does this defy the myth that success is a solo journey?

The Myth of the Lone Wolf in the Boardroom

For decades, the corporate world has celebrated the ‘lone wolf’—the self-made entrepreneur, the overachieving executive who ‘earned’ their position through grit and determination. This narrative, however, is a myth. Women who internalize this lie risk missing out on the invisible scaffolding that propels them forward. Peer relationships aren’t just social currency; they’re accelerators. When you build trust with colleagues, you create a safety net of shared knowledge, emotional support, and collective problem-solving. These connections are the difference between stagnation and breakthrough.

Consider this: a woman in tech who isolates herself to ‘prove herself’ may miss out on the chance to collaborate with peers who could help her navigate complex projects. Meanwhile, her colleague who actively builds relationships is more likely to be invited to high-impact meetings, share in mentorship opportunities, and gain visibility for her work. The result? A faster climb and a more sustainable career.

Peer Relationships as a Catalyst for Growth

Peer relationships are not just about networking—they’re about co-creation. When you invest in relationships with peers, you’re not just building a support system; you’re unlocking new perspectives, skills, and opportunities. A peer can challenge your assumptions, offer advice tailored to your unique situation, and provide a sounding board for ideas. This dynamic is especially powerful for women, who often face systemic barriers that require collective action to overcome.

Take the example of a mid-level manager who regularly collaborates with peers across departments. By sharing insights on cross-functional projects, she gains visibility with senior leaders and builds credibility as a strategic thinker. Meanwhile, a colleague who hoards information and avoids collaboration may struggle to adapt to shifting priorities or innovate in her role. The lesson? Peer relationships are the bridge between competence and influence.

Why 'Focus Up' Is a Trap

The phrase ‘focus up’—a popular mantra in corporate culture—suggests that success is about climbing the ladder, not building the rungs. But this mindset is a trap. When women fixate on upward mobility at the expense of lateral connections, they risk creating a career trajectory that’s both narrow and unsustainable. The result? Isolation, burnout, and missed opportunities to scale impact.

Think of it this way: a woman who ‘focuses up’ may secure a promotion, but without peers to navigate the next level, she’s left to figure out the rules on her own. Conversely, a woman who builds peer relationships creates a network of allies who can help her navigate challenges, share resources, and amplify her voice. This isn’t just about survival—it’s about thriving.

How to Build Peer Relationships That Actually Help

Building meaningful peer relationships isn’t about being ‘nice’ or attending every mixer. It’s about intentionality. Start by identifying peers who challenge you, not just those who mirror your worldview. Ask for feedback, share your own vulnerabilities, and offer support without expecting something in return. Over time, these relationships will become a source of strength, not just status.

Here’s how to get started:

• Seek out diversity: Connect with peers from different departments, backgrounds, and levels of experience. This broadens your perspective and opens doors to new opportunities.
• Be vulnerable: Share your struggles and ask for help. This builds trust and positions you as a collaborator, not just a competitor.
• Reciprocate: Offer your time, expertise, or resources without waiting for something in return. True peer relationships are built on mutual benefit.

The next time you’re tempted to isolate yourself to ‘prove’ your worth, remember this: the women who rise fastest are those who build bridges, not barriers. Peer relationships aren’t a shortcut—they’re the foundation of a career that’s both powerful and purposeful.